Celebrating Size 10

I was looking through my closet a few days ago for something light and summery to wear. I found one of my favorite black rompers, hiding behind all my cozy, winter sweaters. I hadn’t worn it since the summer before I got pregnant with our last baby. I put it on even though the tag said Medium.

Before I knew it, I was sitting on the bathroom floor back in my sweats and stretched out nursing bra. Somewhere between the tears, my clothes not fitting, and this bathroom, it occurred to me that I'm losing myself. Seven and a half months in with baby #2 and the lack of sleep, the breast milk stained tank tops, and the dark circles under my eyes suddenly began to all scream at me at once.

Reminders I was so far from that perfect girl my husband met before all of this.

I used to be confident. I was once the cool girl and it was easy for me to look someone in the eye and smile. Infact, one of my favorite things to do was smile at a stranger.

What happened?

Becoming a mother sure does change everything...

Sure, your priorities shift, sleep is nonexistent, your body transforms into something you don't recognize and your ass- I MEAN heart expands …

but what happens to your identity? Did that get lost somewhere in your transformation too?

Motherhood is the most intense personal growth path I’ve ever walked (in addition to marriage and declaring a major in college).

My advice for new moms: acknowledge your new form and love who you’re becoming.

She is just as beautifu.

Like I said above, I'm only 7 1/2 months postpartum with our second baby.

I'm for sure still struggling with my new reflection in the mirror, but I'm working on not imposing rules and unrealistic goals on my body.

I'm accepting the fact that the jeans that make me feel my very best right now are a size 10.

And I’m also learning that I just need to get out of my own way and allow motherhood to work its magic.

So here I am world! Always a work in progress (but aren’t we all) feeling a new sense of pride and a differnt type of confidence. For me, breastfeeding has been my form of empowerment. Becoming the sole provider of nourishment for a tiny human is truly amazing I’m so proud of myself for being able to keep the flow coming for this long.

Honestly, breastfeeding is just a whole other side I've gained and continue to gain through this journey. I could write on and on about how much I love the bond its created and how proud I am of my body for providing for my baby. But we can save that super mama post for later.

In reality, becoming a mother IS NOT all about the baby. People stop asking how you're doing and forget you need support just as much as baby needs you.

There really isn’t enough support to acknowledge the huge transformation we go through. All we get is a 6 week checkup, 20 or so boxes to check regarding our mental health, and then it’s like “May the force be with you✌🏽.”

Let's acknowledge each other!

I see you mama! FYI-That bathroom floor gets cold, I know because I was just there crying about these DD’s that I have no idea how to dress.

Girl, Get back up.

Take down that mom bun, get in the shower and let those anxieties run down the drain. Because not only did we give birth to a new baby-

but a whole new woman was just born too.

And if this journey of self discovery was never acknowledged for you, I acknowledge your journey.

And the new you that is blossoming is beautiful.

Rock those size 10 jeans, mama!